Hello to our readers and followers! Apologies again for being so quiet, but looking forward to spending 2017 with all of you. If you like, some personal musings below.
It’s almost over, and so I would like to say that 2016 has been a pretty shitty year. A beloved aunt, one who my husband and I annually spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with, passed away in between the two holidays we usually see her. Thanksgiving of this year we visited with her and the rest of her wonderful family -her husband, daughters, grandchildren, dogs, other extended family – where she was her usual upbeat and lovely self. Then, just a few weeks after that, she was gone. I never would have thought that would be the last time I’d ever get to talk to her again. She always made me feel so welcome, especially when I first met her and the rest of my husband’s extended family. She was always so enthusiastic, so sweet and kind, and this is truly a huge loss, not just for me and her family, but for the the world. I feel like it’s only great people who leave us way too soon.
2016 began as shitty as it has been ending. A perfect bookmark to a shoddy year. On the first day of 2016, someone I considered a close friend got into a car accident. She was fine, but she wrecked her old junky car, and since the accident was deemed her fault, insurance wasn’t covering anything for her. I have always believed that part of being a good friend means means truly being there during a hard time, and so I spent countless hours of my life helping her. Driving her to the hospital to get her concussion checked out and sitting there with her for hours and hours, driving her around to various pharmacies checking to see who carried her medicine, using my AAA to get her car towed to my house and keeping it in my driveway for her so that she didn’t have to pay to store it in garage. Introducing her to my mechanic friend, who for free tried to help her sell her junk heap of a wrecked car while it resided at my house. After all of these huge favors I performed for her, after all of the time I wasted on her, after she told me she was feeling so sick while she shamelessly posted photos of herself dressed up and going out, she unceremoniously dumped me and blocked me on all social media the moment her wrecked Honda Accord was out of my driveway. Never in my life have I been used like that.
During this time, my mother suffered a heart attack. She survived (thank goodness), but it was a scary reminder that anything can happen to our loved ones at any time. Nothing is guaranteed. I think the untimely death of so many beloved celebrities this year, especially Carrie Fisher, has also made 2016 suck. Carrie Fisher’s death has hit me especially hard. I’ve always admired the way she transitioned from beautiful young ingenue, to hilariously honest writer and mental health advocate. As someone who suffers from (sometimes debilitating) anxiety, her writing on these subjects really inspired and even helped heal me. Plus, the way she died, of an unexpected heart attack- just like my mother except with a different result- has left me shaken.
2016 is also the year I became fed up with my acting career and decided to stop pursuing it. Acting; getting paid, making a living at, acting and performing for theater, TV, film, and other mediums, has been my dream since I was a little girl (as cliche as that sounds). After several detours, I finally began pursuing it professionally in 2006. I had some good times with a few successes and cool experiences, and the skills I learned have helped me in other areas of my life. But I still can’t help but feel like I achieved embarrassingly little for a 10+ year pursuit in a large market like NYC.
But there have been good things too. I accepted a full-time office job, and it is one that I actually like. My sister got married. Three of my close friends gave birth to beautiful, healthy babies. I did some traveling. My husband and I adopted a rescue puppy, and he is the love of my life (apologies to my husband!).
I think for all of us, each calendar year contains a series of ups and downs, just like a lifetime, but encapsulated. All I can do is be grateful for the good times, and graceful during the bad. That is my my new year’s wish for all of you. Thanks for reading and wishing you all more good than bad in 2017.
What are you looking forward to leaving behind in 2016? What are you excited for in 2017? Feel free to share in the comments!